Thursday, June 29, 2006

Just a thought about the 21st century

Our communication - Wireless
Our dress - Topless
Our telephone - Cordless
Our cooking - Fireless
Our youth - Jobless
Our food - Fatless
Our labor - Effortless
Our conduct - Worthless
Our relation - Loveless
Our attitude - Careless
Our feelings - Heartless
Our politics - Shameless
Our education - Valueless
Our follies - Countless
Our arguments - Baseless
Our boss - Brainless
Our Job - Thankless
Our Salary - Much less

Good Morning Neighbor Quotes June 29, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Success of today resulted from the failure of yesterday.
2- A friend in need is a friend indeed.
3- A friend in need is a friend I don't need.
4- Women are like lava lamps... Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
5- Love: the only game that two can play and both can win.

Love @ 1st sight ( Contradictory Words ) June 29, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Good Fast Food.
2- Liquid Natural Gas.
3- Night Vision.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Jokes of the day

It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look !!


"Look, guide, here are some lion tracks."
"Good. You see where they go and I'll find out where they came from."


"Do you think I"ll lose my looks as I get older?"
"Yes if you're lucky." Quotes June 28, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- If you learn from your mistakes, then why ain't I a genius?
2- When you have completed 95% of your journey, you are halfway there. -- Japanese proverb
3- The ship is safer in the harbour, but it is not meant for that.
4- People with true character show it when nobody else is present.
5- Some people go to church three times in their lives; when they are hatched, when they are matched and when they are dispatched!

Playing with Anaconda ( Contradictory Words ) June 28, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Anxious Patient.
2- Clean Hack.
3- Dry Snow.

Monday, June 26, 2006

Jokes of the day

"Room Service? Can you send up a towel?"
"Please wait someone else is using it."


When I told the doctor about my loss of memory, he made me pay in advance.


But the psychiatrist really helped me a lot. I would never answer the phone, because I was afraid. Now I answer it whether it rings or not.

Rabit Hood Quotes June 26, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- The only time you must not fail is the last time you try. -- Charles F. Kettering
2- Cherish life, for you do not get another one.
3- Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings, then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
4- The truth is like ice water, it shocks you when it hits you, but no one's ever died from it.
5- You know that little indestructible black box used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Super Baby ( Contradictory Words ) June 26, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Poor Rich Kid.
2- Show Business.
3- True Vision.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

Jokes of the day

Judge: Why did you hit your husband with a chair?"
Wife: "I couldn't lift the table."

"What did one ghost say to another?"
"Do you believe in people?"

My friend has a fine watch dog.
At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.
They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

Hi-Speed Photography Quotes June 24, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- That which you cannot give away, you don't possess; it possesses you.
2- Success is relative ... the more success, the more relatives.
3- Speak softly. If you really want to be heard, lower your voice. -- Terri Levine
4- Opportunities are like sunrises. If you wait too long, you miss them. -- William Arthur Ward
5- Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark, professionals built the Titanic.

Hiding Mona ( Contradictory Words ) June 24, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Friendly Fights.
2- Larger Half.
3- Negative Gain.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Body after 122 years!!

These are the pictures of St.Bernadette who died 122 years ago in Lourdes, France and was buried, her body was only discovered 30 years ago after the church officials decided to examine her body.

Her body is still fresh until today and if you ever go to Lourdes, France you can see her body in the church in Lourdes.

Her body does not decay because during her lifetime, the mother of Jesus would always appear to her and give messages and advice to all mankind on the right way to live on this earth.

Many miracles have taken place in this place of Lourdes and still do until today.

These pictures show her body after 122 years.!!! Quotes June 22, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Real happiness is when you marry a girl for love and find out later she has money. -- Bob Monkhouse
2- The second day of a diet is always easier than the first. By the second day, you're off it. -- Jackie Gleason
3- I'm a concert pianist. That's a pretentious way of saying I'm unemployed at the moment. -- Oscar Levant
4- Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. -- Mickey Rooney
5- You can't test courage cautiously.

Funny Toons ( Contradictory Words ) June 22, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Almost Done.
2- Cautiously Optimistic.
3- Divided Unity.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Bless you Quotes June 21, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Always draw limits to yourself but never limit your drawings!
2- People are able if they think they are able.
3- A doctor can't fix what the time ruins.
4- I'm not saying my wife's a bad cook, but she uses a smoke alarm as a timer. -- Bob Monkhouse
5- I always wondered why babies spend so much time licking their thumbs. Then I tasted baby food. -- Robert Orben

Playboy for blinds ( Contradictory Words ) June 21, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Perfectly Normal.
2- Sea shore.
3- Thinking Out.

Monday, June 19, 2006

Reason Why I Never Visit Rich People !!

Question: what would you like to have? Fruit juice, Soda, Tea, Chocolate, Milo or Coffee?
Answer: Tea please.
Question: Ceylon tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, ice-tea or green tea?Answer: Ceylon tea.
Question: How would u like it? Black or white?
Question: Milk, whitener, or condensed milk?
Answer: With milk
Question: Goat milk, camel milk, or cow milk?
Answer: With cow milk please.
Question: milk from freeze land cow or Afrikaner cow?
Answer: Um…. I'll take it black.
Question: Would u like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
Answer: With sugar.
Question: Beet sugar or cane sugar
Answer: Cane sugar
Question: White… brown or yellow sugar?
Answer: Forget about tea just give me a glass of water instead.
Question: Mineral water or still water?
Answer: Mineral water
Question: Flavoured or non-flavoured?
Answer: Never mind, I'll rather die of thirst….

Funny Toons Quotes June 19, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason so few engage in it. -- Henry Ford
2- You know ten things by learning one. -- Japanese proverb
3- A right is not what someone gives you; it's what no one can take from you.
4- I'd rather be a failure at something I enjoy than to be a success at something I hate. -- George Burns
5- You can't get to the top by sitting on your bottom.

Cat Woman

The woman who turned herself to be a cat !! .. she l e ft every thing which remind her of her humanity ( Contradictory Words ) June 19, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Flying Fish.
2- Innocent Seduction.
3- Modified Unanimity.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

Jet Ski Quotes June 18, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Don't make love by the garden gate, cause love is blind but the neighbors ain't. -- Margaret Harris
2- Does killing time damage eternity?
3- People never say, "It's only a game", when they're winning.
4- Plan ahead: It wasn't raining when Noah built the ark!
5- Tears will get you sympathy. Sweat will get you results.

Either ... or... ( Contradictory Words ) June 18, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Accurate Estimate.
2- Bureaucratic Efficiency.
3- Definite Maybe.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

"Don't eat the hard bit on its back, they make you fart!" Quotes June 17, 2006 Quotes June 17, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- To acquire knowledge, one must study; but to acquire wisdom, one must observe. -- Marilyn vos Savant
2- A city is a large community where people are lonesome together.
3- No sense being pessimistic. It wouldn't work anyway.
4- Pain is a noble man who is ready to die to make people happy.
5- If you want to feel rich, count everything you have that money cannot buy.

I look first then you look

Joke of the day

LITTLE GIRL: Mommy, I just found out that our neighbour's son has a penis like a peanut!
MUM: You mean it's small?
LITTLE GIRL: No it's salty!!! ( Contradictory Words ) June 17, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Park on a Driveway.
2- Rush Hour (Heavy traffic period).
3- Sun Shower.

Thursday, June 15, 2006 Quotes June 15, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Don't talk unless you can improve the silence.
2- It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who. -- Joan Rivers
3- The future belongs to those who prepare for it today. -- Malcolm X
4- You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing. -- Michael Pritchard
5- To be or not to be is not the question... it is just a suggestion.


Married Couple

A couple recently married was happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the hole, and she was happy with the thing. ( Contradictory Words ) June 15, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Fearful Bravery (William Shakespeare).
2- Huge Shortage.
3- Middle East.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006 Quotes June 13, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Vote... it's the simplest way to be heard.
2- I love children, especially when they cry for then someone takes them away. -- Nancy Mitford
3- A million words would not bring you back, I know coz I have tried, neither would a million tears, I know coz I have cried!
4- Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't. -- Erica Jong
5- Why can't you get a tan on your palms?

Photoshop fun -- something missing (1)

Photoshop fun -- something missing (2)

why studying is better than sex...

1. You can usually find someone to do it with.
2. If you get tired, you can stop, save your place and pick up where you left off.
3. You can finish early without feelings of guilt or shame.
4. When you open a book, you don't have to worry about who else has opened it.
5. A little coffee and you can do it all night.
6. If you don't finish a chapter you won't gain a reputation as a "book teaser."
7. You can do it, eat and watch TV all at the same time.
8. You don't get embarrassed if your parents interrupt you in the middle.
9. You don't have to put your beer down to do it.
10. If you aren't sure what you're doing, you can always ask your roommate for help! ( Contradictory Words ) June 13, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Whole Half.
2- Blue Green.
3- Curved Line.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Joke of the day

MUM: Didn't I tell you if a stranger touches your breast say "DON'T". And if he touches your pussy say STOP!

GIRL : But mum, he touched both, so I tol d him DON'T STOP!!!!"

Is this a car? Quotes June 11, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- I was such an ugly baby.. My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
2- Can you breathe out of your nose and mouth at the same time?
3- Don't go backwards, you've already been there. -- Ray Charles
4- If it's tourist season, why can't we shoot them?
5- When the devil starts messing, God starts blessing. -- R.W. Schambach

Mobile of the Future ( Contradictory Words ) June 11, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- One Hundred Percent Chance.
2- Realistic Simulation.
3- Speed Limit.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Joke of the day

What's the difference between a panty and a stage curtain?

Answer : When you pull down the stage curtain, show is over,

but when you pull down the PANTY... IT'S SHOWTIME.

Baby Monkey Cute