Question of the day

If it's true that we are here to help others,
then what exactly are the others here for?

Amazing Pool

Laph.com Quotes July 31, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- My brain is my second favorite organ.
2- A drop of ink may make a million think.
3- A man who lives in a glass house shouldn't throw stones.
4- Wisdom has two parts: 1) Having a lot to say. 2) Not saying it.
5- Worry is interest paid in advance for a debt you may never owe.

www.laph.com

Funny Ad

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 31, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Sadly Funny.
2- Sustainable Mining.
3- All Alone.

www.oxymorons.info

Lesson in Logic

If your father is a poor man,
it is your fate but,
if your father-in-law is a poor man,
it's your stupidity.

To all dog lovers

Laph.com Quotes July 27, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- When satan reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.
2- You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him.
3- Why must the phrase, "It is none of my business", always be followed by, but?
4- A friend is someone who has the same enemies you have. -- Abraham Lincoln
5- I just finished reading the phone book. Great cast but lousy plot!

www.laph.com

Do you want a Tuna sandwich?

Joke of the day

A man is dying of cancer.
His son: "Dad why you keep telling people you're
Dying of AIDS??".

Answer: "So that when I die, no one will dare screw
Your mother."

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 27, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Icy Hot.
2- Military Intelligence.
3- Partial Unanimity.

www.oxymorons.info

Astonishing Facts:

1) LONGEST ENGLISH WORD : Praetertranssubstantiationalistically --> has 37 letters.
2) BOOK WITHOUT LETTER 'e' : GADFY , written by Earnest Wright in 1939 is a 50,000+ word book, which doesn't contain a single word with ' e ' in it
3) WORD WITHOUT VOWEL : RHYTHM
4) BRAIN: Organ of body which has no sensation when cut .
5) CROCODILE: Only animal & reptile which sheds tear while eating .
6) Number of Alphabets, which SOUND AS WORDS :
10 , They are
B Bee
C Sea
G Zee
I Eye
Q Queue
R Are
S Yes
T Tea
U You
Y Why

Algebra

Laph.com Quotes July 23, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Those who jump to conclusions often land in ignorance.
2- To think too long about doing a thing, often becomes its undoing.
3- Two rules to success in life: 1. Don't tell people everything you know.
4- We could all take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
5- We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. -- French proverb

www.laph.com

Employee of the Year

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 23, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Books on Tape.
2- Dark Angel.
3- Fighting for Peace.

www.oxymorons.info

This is what fathers are for

The way business is done

Conversation between Baboo & his son.

Baboo: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son : "I will choose my own bride!"
Baboo: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son : "Well, in that case...ok"

Next Baboo approaches Bill Gates.

Baboo: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Baboo: "But this young man is a vice-president of the
World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"

Finally Baboo goes to see the president of the World
Bank

Baboo: "I have a young man to be recommended as a
vice-president."
President: "But I already have more Vice- presidents than I need!"
Baboo: "But this young man is Bill Gates's
son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"

This is how business is done!!!

Funny Pic

Laph.com Quotes July 16, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Chickens: The only animals you eat before they are born and after they are dead.
2- Your attitude is the librarian of your past, the speaker of your present, and the prophet of your future!
3- To find the person you can truly trust, look no further than the nearest mirror.
4- Trust but verify. -- Russian proverb
5- If a man smiles all the time, he's probably selling something that doesn't work. -- George Carlin

www.laph.com

The first remote control ever invented ...

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 16, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Recent History.
2- Square Ring (Boxing).
3- Windows NT (New Technology).

www.oxymorons.info

Look for faces

Laph.com Quotes July 14, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Attend Church weekly NOT weakly.
2- Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.
3- Beat me with the truth, don't torture me with lies.
4- Better an end with pain, than pain with no end.
5- By learning to obey, you will know how to command. -- Italian Proverb

www.laph.com

Funny pics

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 14, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Hell's Angels.
2- Low Fat.
3- One Person Team.

www.oxymorons.info

A 3 years olds curiosity

A three years old boy in his bath examined his testicles and asked,

"Mummy, are these my brains?"

Mum said, "Not yet, honey"

Nice photos

Laph.com Quotes July 10, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- When God sends us on hard paths, he provides strong shoes.
2- You always find something in the last place you look.
3- Your actions speak so loud that I can't hear what you're saying.
4- You never lose by loving, you only lose by holding back.
5- A calm sea does not make a skilled sailor. -- African proverb

www.laph.com

Mini Michael Jordan

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 10, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Barely Dressed.
2- Constant Variable.
3- Expected Surprise.

www.oxymorons.info

What are they?

1) If we say 'MUMMY', they come together & go apart when we say 'DADDY': LIPS
2) What goes up & never comes down: AGE
3) Patches over patches but no stitches: CABBAGE
4) What is that we cannot see, but is always before you: FUTURE
5) What goes up & down a hill, but never moves: ROAD
6) You can never wet it: SHADOW
7) What belongs to to You, but used by your friends more often you do: YOUR NAME

What can a SPIDER do to a human

Laph.com Quotes July 8, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- I count my riches with the number of smiles i put on peoples faces.
2- So is cheerfulness, or a good temper, the more it is spent, the more remains.
3- What sunshine is to flowers, smiles are to humanity.
4- Your thoughts can cause you to be rich or poor, loved or unloved, happy or unhappy, attractive or unattractive, powerful or weak
5- A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way. -- John C. Maxwell

www.laph.com

Shadows

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 8, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Public Secretary.
2- Slight Exaggeration.
3- Vegetarian Hamburger.

www.oxymorons.info

We provide Opera lessons for Children

Joke of the day

A lady in a small shop:
- Please don't smoke here,,

The customer:
- but i already bought the cigarettes from your shop.

- Yes dear.... we sell condoms also , but they don't fuck us here....

Only for Elephants

Laph.com Quotes July 6, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Men are like mascara. They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
2- Which Eternity do you prefer? Smoking or Non-Smoking.
3- Tough times gets you real friends and others get you tough times.
4- The word "Listen" contains the same letters as the word "Silent".
5- The only stupid question is the question you don't ask.

www.laph.com

Nice hat

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 6, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Gold Silverware.
2- Liquid Metal.
3- Night Light.

www.oxymorons.info

Jokes of the day

I was thinking of becoming a doctor. I have the handwriting for it.

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"My wife doesn't know what she wants."
"You're lucky. My wife does."

===============================

We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.

No comment

Laph.com Quotes July 4, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- The brave may not live forever, but the cautious never live at all.
2- Life is like a big wheel, you have to ride it till the wheels fall off.
3- You're in middle age when you realize you have more on your mind and less on your head.
4- When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn't doing the same thing.
5- The greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions, not our circumstances.

www.laph.com

Victory sign after a long walk

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 4, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Anti-Missile Missile.
2- Clean Dirt.
3- Dry Martini.

www.oxymorons.info

Jokes of the day

"What do you use for washing dishes?"
"Oh, I tried many things but found my husband best."

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"Why don't you give your husband a divorce?"
"What, I have lived with him for ten years and now I should make him happy?"

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"Young man, do you think you can handle a variety of work?"
"I ought to be able to. I've had 12 different jobs in four months."

No comment

Laph.com Quotes July 1, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Miles apart don't mean a thing when a loving heart is worth remembering.
2- Sorrow looks back, worry looks around and faith looks up.
3- You can't be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
4- Never argue with a stupid person, first he'll drag you down to his level then beat you with experience!
5- Of course i know how to copy disks. Where's the Xerox machine?

www.laph.com

Zizo

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) July 1, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Public School Education.
2- Slightly Overweight.
3- Vegetarian Meatball.

www.oxymorons.info