When Cigarettes Become Too Expensive

Joke of the day!

Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs ???

No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

No Breaks

Laph.com Quotes Oct 26, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Help a man when he is in trouble and he will remember you when he is in trouble again!!
2- Two kinds of people: Those who finish what they start and …
3- Time is what keeps everything from happening all at once.
4- There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path! -- Morpheous
5- The road to success is always under construction.

www.laph.com

A mother understands what a child does not say.

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) Oct 26, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Unique Uniforms.
2- Assistant Manager.
3- Comfortably Dressed.

www.oxymorons.info

Mission Accomplished

A great ashtray for people trying to stop smoking!

Three Feelings

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?

Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

Tell the truth and run!

Laph.com Quotes Oct 19, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Could your eyes be called an academy, because there are pupils there?
2- It is a wise father that knows his own child.
3- The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it!
4- Whoever said money can't buy happiness, didn't know where to shop!
5- Alcohol doesn't solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk!

www.laph.com

When kitty cat in love .. Meow

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) Oct 19, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Never Generalize.
2- Pretty Ugly.
3- Sincere Phoney (Book title, James H. Boren).

www.oxymorons.info

Joke of the day!

Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

Dogs wait for us faithfully.

Laph.com Quotes Oct 12, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- The quality of your question will determine the quality of the answer.
2- Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.
3- The best time to plant an oak tree is 20 years ago, the next best time is right now!
4- If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.
5- Exams are like girlfriends: Too many questions, difficult to understand, more explanation needed, and result is always FAIL!

www.laph.com

Funny

A wife was very unhappy with her car and complained a lot to her husband:
"Buy me a surprise for my birthday" she said. "Something that accelerates
from 0 too 100 in 4 seconds"......"

And I would prefer a blue one please"
Happy and excited she was counting down the days for her birthday.
And finally she got the beautiful present her husband thoughtfully bought.........

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) Oct 12, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Dress Shirt.
2- Gang of Two.
3- Light Rock.

www.oxymorons.info

It's lonely, but you eat better.

How does a blonde print emails?

Joke of the day!

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

Looking forward to beat you!

Human Ball

Laph.com Quotes Oct 04, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- We can't control the wind, but we have the power to adjust the sails.
2- The quality of expectations determines the quality of our action.
3- The noblest revenge is to forgive. -- Thomas Fuller
4- Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?
5- The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

www.laph.com

Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.

White Lion

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) Oct 04, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Tragic Comedy.
2- American English.
3- Citizen Soldier.

www.oxymorons.info