How cows drink milk?

Laph.com Quotes May 30, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- 2+2=5, when there is a good team work!
2- Success comes in cans, not can't s.
3- If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4- Friendship is like an iceball which is easy to make but hard to keep.
5- A wise man never marries, if he marries he becomes otherwise.

www.laph.com

No comment

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 30, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Stupid Genius.
2- Act Naturally.
3- Business Casual.

www.oxymorons.info

Cute bodyguard

If Women Controlled the World!!

Laph.com Quotes May 29, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Creative souls need certain environments to flourish; otherwise, their ideas may never see the light of day.
2- Happiness is what happens to us when we try to make someone else happy.
3- A friend in need is a friend I don't need.
4- The secret of a successful marriage is not to be at home too much. -- Colin Chapman
5- I like to do the things which are impossible, and Nothing is impossible.. so I do Nothing!

www.laph.com

This is What Sharks Think of Us

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 29, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Melted Ice.
2- Paid Volunteer.
3- Round Edges.

www.oxymorons.info

Flossing at the beach

Laph.com Quotes May 23, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- If you had 1 month left to live, who would you call? What would you say? and why are you waiting?
2- Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it. -- Jules Renard
3- The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up!
4- Some of us think holding on makes us strong; but sometimes it is letting go. -- Herman Hesse
5- When we can't dream any longer... we die.

www.laph.com

Safe sex

For adults only

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 23, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Criminal System.
2- Farewell Reception.
3- Horse Fly.

www.oxymorons.info

Unusual photo

Laph.com Quotes May 22, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Kindness is the oil that takes the friction out of life.
2- A journey of a thousand leagues begins with a single step. -- Confusius
3- Hitch your wagon to a star. -- Ralph Waldo Emerson
4- If size was all that matters, how come the whale is endangered and the ant continues to do just fine?
5- It takes 72 muscles to frown and only 14 to smile!

www.laph.com

Funny Pics

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 22, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Solo Concert.
2- Where the Truth Lies.
3- Black Light.

www.oxymorons.info

Practical earphone

Laph.com Quotes May 21, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- God gives us the nuts, but he does not crack them.
2- When you lose someone once and get back, you remain afraid cause you know next loss is the last.
3- Love is like war ... easy to start but very hard to stop.
4- I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't. -- Patrick Murray
5- I'm so ugly .. My father carried around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet.

www.laph.com

Mission of the day

Funny

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 21, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Looking Back at Looking Forward (The 1904 World's Fair).
2- Old Newborn.
3- Real Magic.

www.oxymorons.info

1 more step you little piece of .......

Privacy

Laph.com Quotes May 19, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- I'm very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch. -- Woody Allen
2- As chief Moses said: Today is a good day to die.....
3- Don't bore your friends with your troubles. Tell them to your enemies who will be delighted to hear about them. -- Olin Miller
4- You can pick up all the glass... but you can't remake the window.
5- It is not the horse that draws the cart, it is the oats. -- Russian proverb

www.laph.com

German efficiency!

Talk about German efficiency! The two photos below were taken at a new parking garage in Munich. The actual space that the facility occupies is approximately only 20% of a comparable facility with the traditional design that is used primarily in the US. Not only is the German structure less expensive to build, but vehicles are also "retrieved" in less time and without the potential of being damaged by an attendant.

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 19, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Completed Research.
2- Equally Diverse.
3- Half Dressed.

www.oxymorons.info

Don't you ever come back again

Laph.com Quotes May 18, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Say nothing and keep saying nothing.
2- I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again. -- Joan Rivers
3- You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.
4- Mom & Pop were just a couple of kids when they got married. He was eighteen, she was sixteen and I was three. -- Billie Holiday
5- A half truth is a whole lie.

www.laph.com

First programmers meeting in the world

What are you looking at kid?

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 18, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Simply Amazing.
2- Uninvited Guest.
3- Awfully Pretty.

www.oxymorons.info

Please God ......

Office Language

It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

Therefore, a list of "TRY SAYING" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner without risk of offending our more sensitive employees.

TRY SAYING:
Perhaps I can work late.
INSTEAD OF:
And when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

TRY SAYING:
I'm certain that isn't feasible.
INSTEAD OF:
No fucking way.

TRY SAYING:
Really?
INSTEAD OF:
You've got to be shitting me!

TRY SAYING:
Perhaps you should check with...
INSTEAD OF:
Tell someone who gives a shit.

TRY SAYING:
Of course I'm concerned.
INSTEAD OF:
Ask me if I give a shit.

TRY SAYING:
I wasn't involved in the project.
INSTEAD OF:
It's not my fucking problem.

TRY SAYING:
That's interesting.
INSTEAD OF:
What the fuck?

TRY SAYING:
I'm not sure this can be implemented.
INSTEAD OF:
This shit won't work.

TRY SAYING:
I'll try to schedule that.
INSTEAD OF:
Why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

TRY SAYING:
Are you sure this is a problem?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell cares?

TRY SAYING:
He's not familiar with the issues.
INSTEAD OF:
He's got his head up his ass.

TRY SAYING:
Excuse me, sir?
INSTEAD OF:
Eat shit and die.

TRY SAYING:
So you weren't happy with it?
INSTEAD OF:
Kiss my ass.

TRY SAYING:
I'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
INSTEAD OF:
Fuck it, I'm on salary.

TRY SAYING:
I don't think you understand.
INSTEAD OF:
Shove it up your ass.

TRY SAYING:
I love a challenge.
INSTEAD OF:
This job sucks.

TRY SAYING:
You want me to take care of that?
INSTEAD OF:
Who the hell died and made you boss?

TRY SAYING:
I see.
INSTEAD OF:
Blow me.

TRY SAYING:
Yes, we really should discuss it.
INSTEAD OF
Another fucking meeting!

TRY SAYING:
I don't think this will be a problem.
INSTEAD OF:
I really don't give a shit.

TRY SAYING:
He's somewhat insensitive.
INSTEAD OF:
He's a prick.

TRY SAYING:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
INSTEAD OF:
She's a ball-busting bitch.

TRY SAYING:
I think you could use more training.
INSTEAD OF:
You don't know what the fuck you're doing.

Thank You,

Management

Funny

Laph.com Quotes May 17, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early. -- Charles Lamb
2- The definition of a consultant: Someone who borrows your watch, tells you the time and then charges you for the privilege.
3- If they can send one man to the moon why can't they send them all?
4- I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking. -- Joan Rivers
5- I am free of all prejudices. I hate everyone equally.

www.laph.com

Bills

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 17, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Lifeless Relationship.
2- Net Security.
3- Pretty Disgusting.

www.oxymorons.info

Shoe Polish Advertisement

Childhood Memories

Laph.com Quotes May 16, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- You tried, and you failed, so the lesson is, never try. -- Homer J. Simpson
2- Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind.
3- Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
4- Children will soon forget your presents. They will always remember your presence.
5- If the sky is the limit, then what is space, over the limit?

www.laph.com

World Mustache Championship 2006 (1)

World Mustache Championship 2006 (2)

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 16, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Christian Scientists.
2- Drawing a Blank.
3- Future Nostalgia.

www.oxymorons.info

How can i help you dear?

Everybody hands up and don't move

Laph.com Quotes May 15, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Dead fish go with the flow, but I'm not dead yet.
2- Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. -- Confucius
3- Every great achievement was once impossible.
4- You have enemies... that means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.
5- A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

www.laph.com

Walk like a Lion in a danger zone

Innocent Assumption

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 15, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Simply Superb.
2- Unique Standard.
3- Altogether Separate.

www.oxymorons.info

4 ways to love

There are 4 ways to love:

Hand in hand.
That in hand.
Hand in that.
That in that.

Boneless

Laph.com Quotes May 14, 2006

Quotes of the day

1- Anyone who angers you, conquers you.
2- The horizon is nothing more than the restriction of our own vision.
3- If your nose runs and your feet smell, you must be upside down.
4- It is the test of a good religion whether you can joke about it. -- G.K. Chesterton
5- The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible. -- David Ogilvy

www.laph.com

Most expensive tie: 1 crore

When fully dressed Salman Khan paraded on a red ramp displaying the most expensive tie in the world, the picture was splashed all over the globe. The tie, studded with 261 diamonds of 77 carat each and made of pure silk with 150 grams of gold, is priced at a whopping Rs 1 crore. It is designed by Satya Paul and the Suashish Diamond group.

Oxymorons.info ( Contradictory Words ) May 14, 2006

Oxymorons of the day

1- Light Heavyweight.
2- Never Again.
3- Pretty Sick.

www.oxymorons.info

WOW, What a shortcut!